What do I truly care about?
If you ask me that question, I would offer an inspirational answer. I would tell you that my relationship with God matters strongly. I would speak of my family, and my desire to share life with them. I would tell you about Flint City Church, and the joy that comes from walking with such great people.
Those things are true. They are not merely talk. My hours and my days revolve around these things in a ever changing orbit. My money, my energy, and my thoughts all focus in around these things I love.
But there are other things looking for sunlight. The big trees of my life are growing great, but smaller shoots are trying to spring up. i want to keep on writing. I am enjoying watching old movies with my brother Tony. I am publishing books for other up and coming writers. I have a house that needs some attention. All these things are calling out to me. And in 2018, I tried to find a little bit of time for each and every one of them.
Then a funny thing happened on the way to my future. Of all the good things I was making time for, I had left something out. For the last year, I have completely given up on any semblance of healthy living. I was still shook by the yo-yo diet that I had spectacularly fumbled. I had lost some real weight, and it had all come back. I had tried to be more active, but it wasn’t a real effort. I was a kid kicking rocks. I didn’t want to even try. Trying meant changing. It could very well mean failure.
If you asked me if I cared about my health, i would’ve said yes. But I would’ve been lying. For nothing in my life was actually focused on my health. My stress levels are good. I get good sleep at night. But in 2018 I was seldom active and ate anything and everything I wanted. I was on the edge of jumping up a pants size and didn’t even care.
A friend of mine shared some of his struggles on his podcast, and it got through. i didn’t scoff, I didn’t change the channel, but I listened with much need. Now, I am not on some program. I’m not dropping money on prepackaged meals. I’m not trying some new fad diet. I have to do something that I can carry with me into my everyday. This has to be a change that can bear fruit for years. So I am giving my morning some light activity (walking and swimming) and I am watching what I eat. I got a silly app that counts calories, and I have been tracking my meals every single day. It is an enlightening habit that is helping me make better choices.
My weight is down on the year. It is a slow loss. But it is a path I can keep walking. My pants are fitting better and more importantly, I am feeling better. I have a long walk to get to good health. But you better believe that I am on that walk. For my heart. For the kids. For the work I have been called to do.