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Dating Your Spouse

I am writing a book about how Angie and I met.  This is a crazy thing.  The adventures and stories almost don’t seem real.  I know when I publish this, people are going to say “no way.”  But as Angie and I have brought out old emails, her old journals, and mapped out the timeline, it all lines up.  Our memories are being brought back into focus as we walk the paths of a boy chasing a girl.  It is an uncanny experience, reliving the past and fact-checking our memory.

But as we dig into the past, I find myself considering the present.  It has been 4 years since I have taken Angie away just her and I.  As the parents of young children, they have been the center of our thinking for quite some time.  Any time away from work is for them.  Teaching them to ride bikes, to pray, to be strong, to be kind.  But as I invest my soul into my kids, I am reminded that I really do love my wife.

When I pastored a large megachurch, I had weekly date nights.  It was a priority.  Now that I am in Flint, with fewer resources and no staff and greater obstacles, I found myself not prioritizing alone time.  It just faded away.  I didn’t even notice.  If you would have asked me, I would have told you that we had just gone on a date a few weeks ago.  But time was moving forward.  And weeks became months and then a whole year.  It happens without even raising an alarm.

So we began to schedule one date night a month.  It’s not a lot, but it is good.  Every month we go to a meal together.  Or we go see a movie.  Or we go listen to a band play some live music.  And I reach out and take her hand.  And she squeezes it.  Because we are still together.  

I am writing the story of how I met and married Angie.  And you know what makes that story all the more beautiful?  How much that love has grown since then.  The love story doesn’t end.  I was chasing her heart then and I am chasing it now.  Don’t let that love grow cold.  Sit down together.  Talk.  Have alone time.  Watch the movies she likes.  Do stuff that she likes.  Take her to places you like.  Share the things.  And as the time moves forward, the love can grow.  The hill becomes a mountain.  The pond becomes an ocean.  The days become years.  The two become one.  Amen and amen.