Hold Me Jesus

“Hold me Jesus, cause I’m shaking like a leaf.

You have been king of my glory, will you be my Prince of Peace?” 


     Rich Mullins sung these songs over 20 years ago.  And still the song moves me to tears.  In order to understand the song, to feel it in your bones, you have to share a few things.

     First, you must know what’s it like to be shaking like a leaf.  To sit on your couch in the night and stare at a wall for hours just recovering from all the sadness that love can bring.  Coming home from the hospital again and not knowing what’s going to happen next.  Longing for a spouse and still waiting after all these years.  To have the ground shake.  To be left in the aftermath afraid and alone.  Yeah Jesus… I’m shaking like a leaf.

     Second, you must know Jesus as the King of your glory.  What does this mean?  This means He’s the man.  This means Jesus has been the guy you pointed to when the rain didn’t fall.  Jesus is the one who kept the car from spinning into oncoming traffic.  Jesus saved the marriage, sent a brother/sister at the exact right time.  And you can’t help but praise His power and give Him the glory.  Jesus is the king of my glory.  He is the source of the happy home I sleep in every night.  He is the planter of the church that I get to shepherd.  He is good, and He has moved in my life.  And He gets the much deserved glory.

     Thirdly, you need peace because there is none within.  You need Jesus to be your Prince of Peace because the peace you had has been shaken.  This time the marriage wasn’t saved.  The car did go careening into danger.  The rains did come and flood out the event you begged Him to save.  The miracle didn’t come.  There are no bragging rights.  There is instead a mess.  A mess of unmet expectation, of sadness, of loss.  God’s mighty hand didn’t stop the bullets, and we need His peace to accept the chaos of this place we call home.  We need peace to accept the choices of those who refuse to open their eyes.  I need a Prince of Peace.

     And lastly, Jesus is the one you turn to in all of it.  You don’t call a buddy.  You don’t need a bar or a joint or takeout.  You need Jesus.  He is the one you need.  He is the one who has saved and will save.  He is the one who has the answers, even if He doesn’t share them.  He is the one who can hold you even though you have never seen His face or touched his arms.  But you have felt them.  You know that those everlasting arms can hold you.  You know they are strong enough to catch you.

     So in the night, when the world sleeps, I pray the prayer.  I lay down on my face and wait for the tears to come.  Hold me Jesus.  Cause I am shaking like a leaf.  You have been King of my glory, will you be my Prince of Peace?   

 -Ernesto Alaniz

Father's Day, 2017