The van died. I thought I was gonna save it, get another year out of it. But it didn’t play. Now the engine is overheating something fierce, and I am forced to drive around with the heat on full blast in 90 degree weather. Not awesome. And even that hack is beginning to fail.
I began to pray about a new van. Now, my prayers were subtle but strong. Somewhere down there I want a sweet ride. Windows that roll up. A rust free body. A good sound system. The thing about newer cars is they cost money. Now, I am not a poor man. God has been very kind to my family. But spending money is a decision. This or that. As we looked at our priorities as a family, I knew that a newer car was not in the cards. We are a family that pays for things in cash. We don’t want a car payment. We don’t want debt on our lives. Debt free living is how we are able to survive on one income. If we start piling on debt, very soon we are going to feel the burden of living beyond our means.
As I looked online, called the usual suspects, and kept a watchful eye on the highways and byways, a van showed itself. It emerged out of the fog with decent mileage and the perfect price point. And I walked right past it. Cause still in my vision was that sleek and shiny bombshell of a van. The God of heaven put that van right in my path and I walked by it. I wouldn’t even look at it. Cause it was not what I envisioned. It was not what I wanted.
And that’s how it goes alot. God provides, but not in the way we were demanding. And so we gripe. And complain. And foster a self pity that feels somehow unsatisfied with God’s provision. I walked by this van for 10 days solid, not even allowing for it in my planning and praying. For 10 days the heat blew on full blast. For 10 days I drove watching the thermostat with frightened eyes. For 10 days I put only a few dollars of gas in at a time, not wanting to lose a fortune when she gave up the ghost.
Finally, I looked over at what God was providing. I made the call and the ball is in motion. It was crazy how long it took me to be thankful for what was being given. And in the broad scheme of things, 10 days is not a long time. But it didn’t have to be so. I added discomfort and stress upon my life for no reason.
How long have you been dissatisfied with the good things God has given you? How long have you refused to look at the blessing in front of you and embrace it? How long have you been staring at your neighbor’s grass, admiring it’s lush green? It’s a miserable way to live.
This week, if this new van plays, I will drive it with great joy in my heart. For the God of heaven has chosen to bless our family once again.
“If you then who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him.” - Matthew 7:11