So, Andrew Peterson is releasing a new album next month. And when you pre-order this album, you get three songs before the album drops. So, I did that. And I excitedly downloaded the new tracks so I could find a new song to sing. I didn’t see it coming. These are the words that came out of my radio.
“I tried to be brave but I hid in the dark
I sat in the cave and prayed for a spark
to light up the pain that remained in my heart
and the rain kept falling”
On the day these words found me, we had just listed our house to sell. A journey that started 20 years ago was coming to an end. I sat in my kitchen with both my children sitting next to me. And I felt my insides come loose. Even with the certainty that God has a future for our family. Even knowing that we are loved and chosen by God Almighty. Even though heaven is home and the mission is known. With all of that… I am still hurt. And I knew there was more pain down there…. I even “sat in the cave and prayed for the spark to light up the pain that remained in my heart.” I wanted to feel the hurt.. but I was afraid of what was in there waiting for me. So I didn’t go near it. I would walk around it. But it was in there.
“Down on the roof of the church where I cried
I could hear all the laughter and love and I tried
to get up and get out but a part of me died
But the rain kept falling down.”
The second verse brings me deeper in. When I think of my old Church family, I can hear the laughter and remember the love. And I had to get up and get out and a part of me died. And it hurts. The rain keeps falling. At this point in the song, my eyes misted over….
“Somewhere the sun is a light in the sky
But I’m dying in North Carolina and I
can’t believe there’s an end to this season of night
And the rain keeps falling down.”
“Theres a woman at home and she’s praying for light
my children are there and they love me in spite
of the shadow I know that they see in my eyes
And the rain keeps falling.”
It’s at this point the tears begin to fall. I excuse myself from the table, and go into the bathroom. And God and I talked. We talked about all of it. And those tears I have been afraid of, they came out in big hot clumps. They shook and shake me. And I am so glad for them. Cause even though the tears stopped there on the floor, they will keep falling. Life is short and full of trouble. There is more pain down this road that we walk. There is more heartache and loss. There is death and disease and betrayal and injustice. There are endings and good-byes and broken friendships. That is all out there waiting. And with it there will be more tears. We have to face it. We have to walk though it. We let it hurt and wound us. The rain keeps falling. But there is something else.
“My daughter and I put the seeds in the dirt
and every day now we’ve been watching the earth
for a sign that this death will give way to a birth
And the rain keeps falling
Down in the soil where the sorrow is laid
And the secret of life is igniting the grave
And I’m dying to live but I’m learning to wait
And the rain is falling.”
The song ends… and though there is sorrow in the dirt, I believe death gives way to a birth. I believe the gospel is true. I believe Jesus went down into the grave and came on out of it. I believe this earthly tent will give way to a heavenly home. I believe we must die to be born again. And all these things will be brought together for good to all those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. So the rain keeps falling. But there is peace in the midst.
“Peace, be still.”
To listen to this incredible song, follow this link: http://bit.ly/1i4f1P4